Dear Willie: I’m 30. I am successful, God-fearing, family-oriented, ambitious, beautiful, wonderful personality, talented, an exceptional cook, and I can keep a man happy and motivated, yet I can’t find a man.
I have been in several long distance relationships and I travel a lot for work purposes. I’ve started relationships during my travels but it resulted in me breaking their heart when I had to leave. Somehow, I expected them to want me enough to relocate.
I’m now ready to settle but there is no opportunity to meet the one for me.
I’m not keen on the online dating thing. It’s scary. I tried looking in church but there I found the most promiscuous males in suits holding the Bible yet forcing premarital sex on a girl looking to get married before sharing her goods.
I don’t go to many social settings because I’m too busy or too careful of meeting characters that have nothing but bars and clubs on their agenda. There are some suitors who I’ve known forever but I’m not interested in being nothing but their friend.
This one particular guy, I’m interested in lives in a different country. He’s interested too but won’t negotiate the location. I would have to relocate and we’d go from there. I’m very headstrong and find it difficult to have to leave my life to be in his life. He says he’s waiting for me but I’m smarter than that.
My eggs are not in one basket. My goal is to get married and start a family within the next three years or else I give up and keep traveling and working. What to do?
Manless @ 30
Dear Manless @ 30: From what you have explained, geography seems to be the problem here. It does not appear like you’re interested in dating men in your immediate surroundings.
If you’re indeed ready to settle, you cannot be selfish. You must have an open mind. What if you meet someone you really desire and they do not want to relocate? The same way you believe he should relocate if he is genuinely interested, is the same way he may be thinking of you.
Also remember, if the man should relocate, you must bear in mind that he will need someone stable. Travelling a lot may cause concerns and problems in a future relationship. If you’re not ready to relocate, then you should seriously think of dating guys in your country or district.
So you need to sit down and think this through carefully: Are you really ready or are you just bored of being single? You can’t continue to walk with a shield, either. Love is a risk and to find the right one sometimes takes a gamble.
Willie
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