Dear Willie: I am not sure what to do. I am married to a great man. He is kind and loving and I know that he loves me very much, but before we were married there was this guy and I who were good friends. At the time I was dating my now husband and he was also dating someone.
We became intimate and it was the best sex I ever had. This guy and I have amazing sexual compatibility but I still married my now husband, and this guy and I lost touch.
After six years we met each other and the attraction is just as strong. My husband and I have a good relationship but the sex is not as great as with this other guy. I feel like our marriage is more like really great friendship. The passion is seriously lacking and he is not as adventurous as I am. I love sex and want it every day but most of the time he doesn’t.
Any ways I met up with my past flame and sadly we slept together. The sex was even more amazing than I remember. When I am with this other guy I come alive and he gets me sexually aroused unlike my husband who doesn’t.
I know that this is wrong because I am married but I find myself wishing that I was with the other guy, and every time he calls, I can’t seem to say no to him. I have tried but it is so hard to stay away. He is almost like my drug.
What should I do? I am worried that I am no longer sexually attracted to my husband. If that is the case what can I do because he is a wonderful husband this makes it so much harder?
HELP
Dear HELP: I am very heart-broken reading this and I am not the husband. I am heart-broken for him and the relationship.
You haven’t mentioned if you have ever communicated to your husband your true feelings about his sexual performance. I don’t know how old he is or any indication of his physical form and health to make a judgment that he may be suffering from low libido as a result of something.
This “other guy” will destroy your marriage if you continue. I know it is hard to stop because you’re getting true satisfaction, but think about it, is this worth your husband and your marriage? Do you love this other guy more than your husband?
Sweety, you must try harder to make things work sexually with your husband. I know it is not going to be easy. Men wear their sexual ego on their sleeves and any indication that you do not enjoy them will erode their confidence and self-esteem. So you must move carefully.
Instead of telling him he sucks tell him what you want him to do to you. Or ask him what will make him more interested in sex with you. Who knows? The problem could be you.
I am urging you to stop seeing this guy and fix your relationship otherwise it could end up in disaster. No phone calls, texting, seeing each other, etc. Break it off completely and focus on your marriage. I do not want you to make the headlines on St. Lucia News Online.
Willie
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